The Single Stigma Debunked
(originally written for Blush Magazine)
by michaela christine
A stigma is defined as a certain mark of disgrace or shame associated with a particular category of person (Merriam Webster) — we often hear the word talked about in relation to mental illnesses and minority groups. Yet, we seldom forget that there is an equally as prevalent stigma that’s especially escalated around this time of year. The time of year when those with a significant other feel safe in knowing that they’re satisfying society’s standards around a certain Hallmark-marketed-holiday called Valentine’s Day. And when those without a significant other try their absolute hardest to say “fuck-it” to the idea of relationships and “hell-yes” to the idea of self-love. Try their absolute hardestis key. Or maybe this only applies to me.
Being single on Valentine’s Day can be compared to the equivalent of celebrating a certain holiday when you’re not that religion. When you just want to revel in the loose stereotype of going out to a Michelin star dinner following a sappy gift exchange involving chocolate and an oversized stuffed bear with your loved one. To feel gratified at all the happy couples while scrolling through Instagram rather than isolated being you don’t have a significant other to share this holiday with.
Though a stigma is generally determined by a society’s opinion of a certain group of people, in the case of Valentine’s Day, “the single stigma” is generally deemed a stigma by one person only.
Could you guess who that one person is?
NEWS FLASH: It’s you.
Just when you think the world’s eyes are glaring at you on February 14th for pampering yourself rather than pampering someone else, think again.
Chances are that those seemingly happy-go-lucky couples aren’t judging the group of single friends sitting next to them at dinner on V-day. In fact, it’s very likely a teensy bit of envy exists within that couple. Once you’re actually in a relationship it’s hard not to imagine what it’s like to be completely independent, and free from being tied down to someone else. Your time to be in a relationship will come. For now, take pleasure in the luxury of being single and do all you can on February 14th to make that day all about you.
The only person judging you on Valentine’s Day for being single is yourself, I promise.